Nikki DurrantTransformational Coaching, Personal & Spiritual Development
Billingshurst, West Sussex & Online

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Blog

Thank you for looking at this page. I haven’t written any new blog posts lately but I am very busy researching and writing a new spiritual / personal development training course, focusing on raising consciousness. Like other courses I have written in the past, I hope this new training will be professionally approved and that it will be available in the spring. Further details will be shared on this website and my Facebook page.

What is Transformational Coaching?

Conventional life coaching is usually results orientated and focuses on specific (SMART) goals, beliefs and values, improvement and accountability, often in a particular area of life. Great if there is a specific goal that you want to achieve and need help getting there.

Transformational coaching aims to bring about a more fundamental change, a permanent internal change, a shift in how you perceive yourself and the world, that brings inner peace and calm, no matter what is going on in the world. I’ve completed a lot of training over the years, all within the world of coaching, hypnotherapy, personal and spiritual development – I’ve completed numerous sessions of regression, listened to hundreds of hours of hypnosis recordings, meditated daily, developed healing skills and learned to connect with the astral plane. And yes, I’ve changed a lot over the years – but by far the biggest shift I have experienced has been as a result of transformational coaching.

Most self-improvement books and training courses focus on changing how you respond to what is happening around you, supporting you to think more positively, look for the positive in a negative situation or reframe past experience. This can be very beneficial and has undoubtedly helped many people.

Transformational coaching goes deeper without the need to rake through your past. It explores your inner world of thought and asks where your experience of life really comes from. It also takes into account your personal energy and how that impacts your daily life; through meditation, energy clearing and visualisation you can move to a higher vibrational frequency, where manifestation becomes a real possibility and you can experience love, joy and happiness regardless of your outer circumstances.

One of the main goals of transformational coaching is a shift to a more enlightened state of consciousness which allows you to be aligned with your true self and to tap into the wisdom of the Divine. Tools, strategies and technique-based therapy may move you horizontally in terms of personal development but transformational coaching creates a vertical shift in consciousness to a more enlightened state.

Yes, this is available to everyone. You may not realise it but you do already have everything that you need. Inside. Transformational coaching can gently and gracefully guide you to a life of greater happiness, purpose, meaning and fulfilment.



Overcoming Anxiety

Concern about our mental health has recently prompted the Government to invest heavily in this area. We have all been affected by the Covid-19 pandemic and at times it has felt like there is no end in sight. For people prone to anxiety 2020 has been an exceptionally challenging year.

Anxiety may be regarded as a number of disorders that cause apprehension, nervousness, fear and worry. The charity MIND has identified 9 main types of anxiety:

  • Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – a disorder involving excessive worry over non-specific events and situations

  • Panic Disorder – sudden attacks of intense terror and apprehension

  • Phobias – irrational fear and avoidance of a specific object or situation

  • Social Anxiety Disorder – fear of being negatively judged by others

  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – compulsive thoughts, behaviours or actions that are repetitive in nature

  • Health Anxiety – obsessing about health, assuming any ache or pain is serious, researching symptoms and ailments

  • Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – anxiety brought on by previous trauma and often leading to flashbacks.

    The symptoms of anxiety are numerous and are linked to the triggering of the sympathetic nervous system and the stress response, the body’s internal emergency warning system, Freeze, Fight or Flight.

    When we are anxious or stressed our physiology changes -

  • Increased heart beat – helps to pump oxygen around the body faster so that you can fight or flee quicker

  • Shallow breathing – pulls in extra oxygen

  • Sweating increases – cooling your skin as your muscles work harder and produce heat

  • Feeling nauseous and or needing to open your bowels - the need to remove excess contents from the stomach so that energy is not wasted on digestion

  • Becoming pale – blood is being redirected to the muscles where it is most needed

  • Becoming flushed – the blood is being cooled down

  • Visual disturbance – due to excess adrenaline

  • Pins and needles / tingling sensation - due to the increased flow of the blood

  • Dry mouth – allows extra absorption of oxygen.

    The Freeze, Fight or Flight response is activated in response to any perceived threat, real or imagined – it is an in-built alarm system that has enabled us to survive as a species over thousands of years. This primitive mechanism worked well when sudden bursts of energy and aggression were required to ensure physical survival. But in modern society the response often kicks in but we have no need to run away or fight – we may simply be feeling frustrated and anxious because we are stuck in traffic and might miss that important meeting. When adrenaline is released on regular basis but there is nowhere to run to, it accumulates but is suppressed – this reaction causes anxiety symptoms.

    If you think you may be experiencing anxiety there are many things you can do to help yourself.

  • Practise diaphragmatic breathing – breathing deep into your belly and expanding that area as you inhale to the count of 7 – then slowly breathing out to the count of 11. Repeat several times, every half hour

  • Notice your personal ‘worry’ story – distance yourself from it

  • Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings – notice and validate them rather than deny them

  • Accept the uncertainty – use the above breathing technique to take yourself out of the fight or flight response

  • Bring your mind fully into the present moment – don’t live in the future

  • Acknowledge the feeling and know that it is temporary – it will pass

  • Slow down your thinking

  • Be solution focused and let go of issues that are beyond your control

  • Stand up to anxiety with these mood boosters: exercise and movement (especially outdoors); meditation / mindfulness or self-hypnosis; achievement orientated activity; do something fun and pleasant

  • Regularly remind yourself that you have amazing coping skills

  • Eat 3 balanced meals a day – choose nutritional foods and limit your intake of sugar, alcohol and caffeine (including energy drinks)

  • Take a break from social media and the news

  • Find 3 things (even if they’re tiny things) that you are grateful for.

    It is helpful to remember that our thoughts and feelings are closely connected. Our feelings act as an in-built guidance system, letting us know when our thinking is off track. Pretty much like the rumble strips on the motorway that let you know when your car has drifted out of its lane – that bumpy feeling is a reminder, check out your thinking - is it serving you well, or causing you suffering?


    TEACH YOURSELF SELF-HYPNOSIS

    Have you ever wondered if you could be hypnotised? Would you be surprised if I told you we all naturally enter a hypnotic state many times a day? You may have driven a familiar route and suddenly realised you don’t really remember part of the journey? Or been engrossed in a great book or a movie, and missed something your partner said? These are all signs you’ve experienced hypnosis.

    So, what is this mysterious state and how can it benefit us? Hypnosis may be defined as a slightly altered state of awareness, an often day-dreamy state which is both normal and natural. Some professionals describe it as a heighted state of awareness which we can use to by-pass the critical faculty and so embed beneficial suggestions (words and pictures) in the subconscious part of the mind.

    The conscious mind is the part of the mind that deals with logic, analysis, will power and short-term memory; it makes judgements and limits us. We can only hold a limited amount of information in the conscious mind at any one time.

    The subconscious mind is vast and concerned with beliefs, habits, the emotions and self-preservation; it is our permanent memory. This part of the mind loves images, stories, metaphors and symbolism. We need to access the subconscious mind in order to plant new, positive suggestions and create lasting change; hypnosis allows us to do this.

    Practising self-hypnosis on a regular basis brings many benefits including:

  • Relaxation and stress reduction
  • Reduced blood pressure
  • Feeling calmer, more balanced mood
  • Anxiety control
  • Break unwanted habits
  • Improved focus and concentration
  • Performance enhancement (sports / public speaking / interviews)
  • Improved sleep
  • Increased confidence

    It is helpful to carefully consider what suggestions you will use before you start your self-hypnosis session. Suggestions are most effective when they are positive, in the present tense, short, clear and concise, exciting and focused on what you want (rather than don’t want). Good examples include:

  • I have amazing coping skills
  • I am enough
  • I am always calm and relaxed
  • I love to choose healthy foods.

    Find a quiet time and place for your self-hypnosis session, somewhere you won’t be disturbed for 10 to 20 minutes. It is best to sit upright and try to keep your spine as straight as possible. Start each session with several slow, deep breaths. It is important to make sure the out-breath is slightly longer that the in-breath; this will stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system and trigger the relaxation response.
    Look straight ahead, then roll your eyes up as if you are trying to look at your eyebrows from the inside. Keep looking up and take a deep breath in – and relax as you breath out. Repeat twice more – on the third out breath, close your eyes and really feel yourself relaxing down, let every muscle in your body relax.

    Drop your chin down a little and imagine you are standing at the top of a flight of ten steps. Starting at 10, count yourself down each step, slowly, relaxing more and more with each step down. If you have trouble visualising the steps, just focus on each number. You can say the number out loud or in your head.

    When you reach 1, you find yourself in your favourite relaxing place – this maybe somewhere you have been on holiday, a favourite room at home or an imagined sacred place. Focus on what you can see, feel and hear – make it as bright and vivid as you can.

    Repeat your suggestions several times, slowly, clearly and with intention – out loud or in your head.

    To return to normal awareness count yourself back up from 1 to 10. Take several deep breaths and breathe all the energy back into your body – open your eyes.

    Here is the procedure in brief:

    Sit comfortably
    Eyes up – 3 deep breaths in and out – close your eyes
    Chin down – count down from 10 to 1
    Favourite place – see, hear and feel
    Repeat your suggestions
    Return back up the steps or numbers
    Breathe the energy back into your body.

    The subconscious mind loves repetition and you may have to persevere before you notice results. It is normal to practise daily for 14 to 28 days.

    PLEASE NOTE: do not attempt self-hypnosis whilst driving or operating machinery, if you are experiencing psychosis or a serious mental health disorder, you have been diagnosed with epilepsy or you are experiencing pain. Your GP must be consulted. I take no responsibility for the outcome of your practise sessions.



    Positive Affirmations

    I've heard some people say that affirmations don't work, but I have to disagree; they're awesome! Positive affirmations are a simple yet powerful technique for change and are used by professionals, business people, sports men and women and many other people to transform all aspects of life. Positive affirmations are an effective technique for re-programming thinking and letting go of old, negative patterns, beliefs and feelings.

    Affirmations are usually a short, positive statement phrased in the present tense and repeated on a regular and frequent basis. Affirmations work best when they are relevant, realistic and free from negatives; they should be about things that you want in your life, not things that you do not want.

    When affirmations are frequently repeated, especially when you are in a relaxed state, the subconscious mind is reached. When the subconscious mind accepts that the affirmation is in the best interests of the individual it will act upon the statement and take action to make the affirmation a reality.

    Sometimes there is a big gap between current reality and where you want to be; affirmations can highlight this disparity and result in an uncomfortable feeling. The subconscious mind is resisting the affirmation. There are 2 things you can do here –

  • A change of affirmation usually helps, though sometimes persistence is necessary.

  • It can also help to step back and rein it in - break your goal down into smaller steps and base your affirmations on the smaller step. When you are comfortable with that affirmation, or have achieved that step, create a new affirmation for the next step.

    The aim of affirmations is to create or build upon positive thoughts and feelings. You will know when they are working because you will feel good, happy and positive. Remember, feelings follow thoughts; constant positive thoughts create good, positive feelings.

    Positive affirmations can be repeated in your mind, spoken out loud, written, sung, read or chanted. Make sure you chose an affirmation that resonates with you.

    Adding Power to Affirmations

    Affirmations can be supercharged in a number of ways.

  • Repeat them while looking in the mirror. This is a really powerful technique that can be uncomfortable; perseverance may be required but the results will be profound. Look into your eyes as you repeat the affirmation and you will magnify the message.

  • Write it down. Write the affirmation on mirrors, post-it notes and cards and leave them where you can see them throughout the day. Alternatively write the affirmation down 10+ times.

  • Say your affirmation with passion. Add real feeling and energy to supercharge them and make them a reality even more quickly.

  • Singing them is a lovely way to affirm, which is powerful and appealing to the subconscious mind. Great for car journey’s!


    Popular affirmations include:

    I am enough

    I can do this

    I am calm and relaxed

    I believe in myself

    I have amazing coping skills

    My mind is relaxed – my body is relaxed

    I am confident – I am safe – I am secure

    I am amazing! I can be / do / have anything!







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